“Student found guilty of charges in webcam suicide case” – ZDNet.

“Tyler Clementi Case: Dharun Ravi Found Guilty of Hate Crimes, Invasion of Privacy” – Hollywood Gossip. 

“Hate-Crimes Conviction: Ex-Rutgers Student Faces Up to 10 Years in Closely Watched Bias Intimidation Case” – Wall Street Journal.

“Dharun Ravi Found Guilty of Invasion of Privacy, Hate Crimes in Tyler Clementi Case” – People.

“Jury Finds Spying in Rutgers Dorm Was a Hate Crime” – New York Times.

Within minutes of the guilty verdict in the hate crime trial of Rutgers freshman Dharun Ravi last week, media outlets everywhere were blasting it: Guilty! Hate crime! Ravi faces up to ten years in prison! Ravi faces deportation! Twitter and Facebook fairly burst with satisfied responses, some of them dehumanizing and violent toward Ravi, who was convicted of invasion of privacy and fourteen other charges in the webcam spying incident, which preceded his freshman roommate Tyler Clementi’s suicide by three days.

This verdict sends a clear signal that homophobic bullying can no longer be relegated to the worn-out receptacle of excuses and justifications, that “boys will be boys” no longer pertains (indeed, it never should have). In fact, hate speech does kill, as evidenced by a veritable epidemic of youth suicides in the past couple of years. When one suicide is too many, “too many to count” becomes a number we don’t want to try to fathom.

So let’s hope that this case will establish a benchmark for hate crimes, and that future “pranksters” will think twice and three times before spying on their roommates engaging in private, intimate moments.

We’ve tried and condemned the man whose actions immediately preceded Tyler’s tragic jump from that bridge. There’s more to this tragedy, however, than Ravi’s homophobic actions, and it won’t be popular with those whose thirst for blood has been quenched by the outcome in this case. But it’s there and we must not lose sight of it while we’re tidying up the loose ends of the drama in that New Brunswick courtroom.

Just days before leaving home to start his college education, Tyler Clementi came out to his parents, Joseph and Jane. Afterwards, Tyler sent this instant message to a friend, “It’s a good thing dad is ok w/it or I would be in serious trouble/ mom has basically completely rejected me.” There is evidence not only of his mother’s repudiation of her son’s sexual orientation, but that the Clementi family church, Grace Church of Ridgewood, New Jersey, rejected homosexuality, and was anything but a safe and welcoming place for young LGBTQ people. Grace Church is a member of the Willow Creek Association of churches, whose lead pastor, Bill Hybels, last year said, “We challenge homosexuals and heterosexuals to live out the sexual ethics taught in Scriptures, which encourage sexual expression between a man and a woman in the context of marriage.”

Bigotry wrapped in prayer is still bigotry, and religious institutions that routinely demonize and malign homosexuals for their very identities do irreparable harm to the young people they claim to be spiritually nurturing. Imagine being Tyler Clementi—a bright and talented young man, a sensitive musician with a promising future. Imagine hearing from the elders in his life whom he trusted and admired and on whom he relied most for guidance and teaching—including his own mother (“Mom has basically completely rejected me”) —that he was lesser, that he was wrong for being who he was, that he was a sinner who would not find redemption as long as he adhered to his sinful lifestyle. Can anyone wonder why Ravi’s alarming invasion of his roommate’s privacy became the last straw, the one that finally broke Tyler’s will to live?

Did Dharun Ravi get his just deserts for the crimes he committed? Arguably, yes, but there is no joy in this verdict, even if justice has been served.

There is no question of our deep sympathies for Tyler Clementi’s parents, who have lost their precious son. After the trial, Tyler Clementi’s father (“It’s a good thing dad is ok w/it”) had this message for middle- and high-school students. “You’re going to meet a lot of people in your lifetime. Some of these people you may not like. Just because you don’t like them doesn’t mean you have to work against them. When you see somebody doing something wrong, tell them: ‘That’s not right. Stop it.’ The change you want to see in the world begins with you.”

These words, spoken by a grieving parent, need to resonate not only with the students Joe Clementi was addressing but deep in the hearts of every parent and every organization—religious and otherwise—who claim to love their children and then reject them because of who they are.

Until we uproot homophobia where its seeds are sown–in the home, in the church, and in the mouths of leaders–we cannot hope to change the cycle of bullying–and crimes like Dharun Ravi’s–that lead to the despair, isolation, and deep shame in which ending one’s life is the only tenable cure for the pain.