By Midnite Goddess
Yes, yes I do! To live in a right-now state of being where everything is based on logic and not emotion; where love is an action word, a commitment, a dedication; where sex is a natural primal drive; and food is merely a means of survival to carry out the rest; where life decisions are made clearly and concisely like the cutting edge of a surgical knife unclouded by emotional attachment. Women live on drama. Men abhor it. A woman will cry and want to talk about it. Men avoid emotion and drama like the Black Plague! When emotion strikes, a man will go into his man-cave until he is enlightened by the logical solution. (Or, until it just goes away). Woman-talk is cheap. In a man’s world, the word “yes” means yes, “no” means no, and “I’ll think about it” or “maybe” is a rarity.
For most women, our lives are completely dominated by our emotions: nurturing, loving, caring, and dedication. We are a species of “softies” and natural givers that often times make life decisions in the best interest of everyone else but ourselves. It is who we are; and because of this, we allow our emotions to rule and sometimes, more often than not, our well goes empty.
Granted, we’ve come a long way, Baby since the burning of the bra; but we are, no matter how hard we try to convince that we aren’t, emotional creatures and will not ever be able to think like a man does. To a woman, sex is a gift of her body she gives to her chosen partner even if it is casual. To a man, sex is just sex. There is no difference between making love and having sex. It is only the end result that matters. As long as their woman is kept happy and being emotionally fed, there’s usually a “happy ending” for both involved. If a woman turns her back to a man’s advances, she rejects his whole being. If the woman isn’t putting out, they will eventually seek it out somewhere else where they are accepted. They can’t help it. It is who and what they are made of.
A woman buys jewelry because she likes it; or, it matches her new dress perfectly. A man buys jewelry because it’s an investment. A woman buys groceries that are balanced and healthy for the family; a man can survive on chips, beer, and wings. A woman must love her career in order to be successful at it; a man works as his duty to sustain the family unit. If he doesn’t like his job, he just shuts the fuck up and does what he’s gotta do; a woman whines and complains about her boss, her co-workers, and the customers. (I know this for a fact. I worked with plenty of them). A woman is multi-tasked, can handle what is thrown at her at any given moment, and maintains the balance of life in “ka-chinka, ka-chinka” order. A man is focused on only moment at a time: the one he is in right now. I feel so envious, sometimes! It would feel so wonderful, so unburdening, to be able to make decisions and live life unclouded by emotion!
So, where am I going with all this? Nowhere, really. But if I could think like a man, life would be a whole lot funner.
This article was inspired by and is dedicated to the men in my life who taught me everything I wanted to know about men; but was afraid to ask.
Sometimes I Wish I Was A Man,
Smike
1 May 2011Congrats. You’re a man now.
Annemay
19 May 2011This article made me cry. Everything about it is so true.
I hate, abhor being a woman. I hate the everyday makeup-circus, the fact that nobody takes me seriously, the fact that me and every other woman around me are so emotional and illogical.
Yes, there is a place in the world for everything and everyone including women (how else would humanity exist), but being a woman is awful.
I wish I had a man’s strong logical mind and built body, to just forget my miserable existence. I hate being a part of a gossiping bunch of chickens who thrive on petty emotions instead of achievements, helping others, aspiring for great things such as space travel, business, charity, etc…
Even if a woman is successful, it eventually derives from a man in almost all cases. Everything that means something in this world is made by a man. We are just birth vessels.
I don’t want to live as a woman anymore.
Serpentskirt
2 Mar 2012This makes me almost physically sick. How can you reach such an hysterical hatred of your own gender? Both you and the comment above appear to be under the illusion that the problems women face in the world are due to women being women, and not the misogynistic physical, emotional, social, political and psychological violence and manipulation men have been practising for the last 7000 years. Both of you are ‘envious’ of the fact that men are cold machines operating in a selfish vacuum, living their life as an endless competition against every other man on earth to see who can hold the most status and derive the most attention through material and sexual attainments. You both complain that women whine endlessly, yet you both link this directly to vying for male attention, which is a situation men have purposefully created for you because it makes you emulate male competitiveness by hating and attacking fellow women. And you are both completely ignorant of the invaluable genius of the contributions that millions of women have made to the culture and society of humankind, women like Christine de Pizan, Mary Wollstonecraft, Inga Muscio, Rosa Parks, Sojourner Truth, Bessie Smith, Lilian Gish, Cristina Kirchner, Valentina Tereshkova, Marie Curie, Florence Nightingale, Emily Bronte, Joan of Arc, Hannah Arendt, the list is literally endless.
Both of you have serious, borderline-psychotic issues with your self-esteem and I would strongly suggest you stop constructing your identities and self-worth in a male context and learn something about the tremendous intelligence and creativity your gender has expressed and continues to express. This is a terribly destructive article and you should both be extremely ashamed for writing it and praising it.
sniftyblogger
11 Jul 2012Serptentskirt, Annemay, and Midnight Goddess…
Sadly, I think I agree with all three of you. I found this post and thread because I googled “I wish I was a man.”
I will admit that I probably DO have “borderline-psychotic issues with [my] self-esteem” and wrestle back and forth all the time about whether or not I hate being a woman because of the patriarchal, male dominated system I live in or because being a woman biologically, actually, just plain sucks. My issues with my self esteem are a result of one or both of the above things.
I hate my period, for example. It gets in the way of most shit I want to do. I work in a lab during the week and play in a band on the weekends. There is never, ever a good time to have a period. Men never have to worry about this…camping with tampons and pads, feeling like your uterus is falling out and still having to act like a rock star on stage like nothing is wrong.
I also wish I could build muscle more easily and that getting older didn’t mean that I get a wider ass. It’s true that men get faster results from working out than women. Exercise is more gratifying for men whether it is for weight loss or strength gain or some other goal.
I have a debilitating autoimmune disease. Something like 75-80% of diagnosed cases of autoimmune disease are female. That is a shitty statistic. I got well by having two organs removed, and I’m sadly one of the lucky ones.
I haven’t felt as though my opportunities to pursue whatever career I want are limited. I am applying to a math masters degree. I am less advanced in my career because I was sick, not because I was discriminated against for being female. Although perhaps biology did that for me because women are more susceptible to chronic illness.
I am around musicians often, most of them are men. They only girls I meet are either the sexy lead singer of a band or someone’s girlfriend or wife tagging along. Most of the men can pound a lot of different kinds of illegal drugs and alcohol and have a blast. I tell them I choose not to do any drugs because I don’t usually have a blast when I take them. Their girlfriends usually know exactly what I’m talking about and the guys protest, saying that I don’t go into it with the right mindset or I just need to build up a tolerance or something. They have no idea. I would love to be able to enjoy drugs the way they do. That sounds ridiculous because that lifestyle is quite unhealthy…but to be able to withstand that kind of abuse? I’d feel like I was made of steel!
The world is set up pretty unfavorably for women right now. Women don’t see enough women doing medicine, physics, math, engineering, rock music, inventing things, running corporations, etc. Give it a few more generations and the numbers will improve. So, this doesn’t worry me.
What does worry me is the biological inconvenience of being a woman in fast paced world. Things just physically slow us down. Many of us get frumpy and less attractive as we age (statistically speaking), our sex drives diminish, we get tired more easily, and have a harder time losing weight. Periods get in the way of everything. Pregnancies, planned or unplanned, can sometimes have catastrophic and permanent effects on our health.
I feel as though my life would be much easier if 1) I chose not to have kids 2) I could find a way to end my period 3) I found medication for my anxiety that worked without giving me debilitating side effects 4) if I could somehow turn my body into a physically fit calorie incinerator and stop craving food like an addict craves their fix.
The first two items are direct consequences of being female. The second two MAY also be due to femaleness, depending on what research papers you read.
So, there’s my position. Just sayin there’s some logistical, biological aspects of being male that seem pretty awesome.