By: Tovah Lynne Ubermensch
As adorable as the t.v. shows “Teen Mom” and “16 and Pregnant” make being a teen mom look, not so long ago, the sudden rise in teen pregnancy is/was considered a social epidemic. Don’t get the wrong idea. For those who can do it, who can be a mom and get through school and keep their life on track, you have my support and my pride. But what several girls do not understand is that the girls on Teen Mom make money from the show. Farrah from the first season made enough to afford a boob job. You mean to tell me that giving people money for making irresponsible decisions might enable them to continue to make irresponsible decisions? Knock me over with a feather.
As much as you want to believe that love is all you need, the rest of the world runs on money. The fact of the matter is, generally, higher paying jobs require a college degree. It is next to impossible to work enough to support yourself, go to school, and study enough to keep your grades high enough to qualify for scholarships, and wipe little Tommy’s nose while simultaneously making sure he is not climbing the curtains without supervision. There are those Super Moms who make it work, but one should never go into the situation assuming they are the exception to the general rule.
I am hoping that the general goal of shows such as Teen Mom and 16 and Pregnant was to highlight that being a young mother is very difficult and goes beyond having an adorable baby to play with and get to be all grown up, but it has had the adverse reaction. On blogs about these shows, girls are stating that they are so excited they are pregnant and wondering where to go to be on Teen Mom. So you’re trying to tell me that the impeccably rational demographic of teenage girls do not think about the long term consequences of their actions and only think about the possibility of having their own television show? I refuse to accept this.
These shows have glorified teen pregnancy in the eyes of an already fertile mind. Another shocker, in our society dominated by sexual innuendos and subliminal messages, the abstinence taught for one week out of the school year isn’t sticking quite as well as hoped. Parents need to get over their own personal morals and accept the fact that there is a good chance that their teen children are having sex. Rather than telling them that they are sluts and whores if they have sex before marriage, talk to them about safe sex, about protection, and birth control. At that age, kids know right from wrong; and if they want to have sex with their boyfriends or girlfriends, they will do it whether the parent says it’s okay or not. Let’s face it, being “bad” feels so damn good. In this time and age, the majority of people getting married are not virgins, so why preach a program that is only going to apply to the minority?
Conservative parents and politicians need to stop trying to force an ideal lifestyle on these teens and face the reality. Give them information that will help protect them with the decisions they are more likely to make. Teach about safe sex (not the biased information presented in Worth the Wait), protection from STDs, various forms of birth control with the pros and cons of each; and dare I say it, the positive and negative side effects of abortion. I know, I’m a terrible person for suggesting that killing babies is the answer; but it’s a realistic option that one is faced with.
Overall, most eastern European countries have a higher rate of sexual activity among their youth, but have much lower rates of teen pregnancy and STDs. That’s because they don’t try to repress sexuality and present their youth with information they can use, not a hundred reasons of why they are immoral and damned.
Preggo My Baby Eggo: Teen Pregnancy Epidemic,
Michelle
21 Feb 2012I have tried and tried to explain this to my ex…my teenagers’ dad…
Dan
21 Feb 2012Nothing changes… we had the same struggles going on when I was a teenager, back in the late ’70’s and early ’80’s… It seems some people never learn… kids OR adults!
You’d think people would figure it out eventually… since the invention of the penis, one thing has been constant… no matter WHAT you teach them, no matter WHAT your “morals”… kids ARE going to have sex… understanding safety, contraception, and disease prevention is VITAL!
Chastity
21 Feb 2012There are shows on television like : Teen Mom. Those kids get around $200k a season. Teen pregnancy has become profitable. Usually only girls are called offensive names for having sex outside of marriage. Boys don’t face that consequence.
Tashiana
21 Feb 2012Very open communication with my kids! My daughter is 11, and just started her “cycle” 6 months ago. I’ve taken her to my gyn to discuss future BC options. But we have talked about sex and BC and condoms ,abortions adoptions , single parenthood since she was 7. I was a teen mom at 15, because I was raised very religious , no sex till married, abstinence only, environment . So I make sure my kids know, have access to, and are educated on the use of condoms. Just today we had the talk about how making out feels good but leads to other things. I explained when it comes to making decisions about sex, alot of people don’t think until they’re caught up in the moment of feeling good, and that’s NOT the time to begin thinking about do I or don’t I . If it was as simple as someone saying ” hey, let me put my thingy in ur thingy!” then of course it’s easy to say no. But that’s not how it goes down .
Garry
21 Feb 2012… I do agree that glamourizing teenage pregnancies is a horrible idea. I’ve been of the opinion for a long time now that reality television in general is destroying not only good t.v., but society’s image of itself by promoting shameless, idiotic behaviour. Pick a channel and you’ll likely find some idiot drunk off his nut, trying to either pick a fight or pick up a fuck. What happened to civility? I’m not advocating virginity, no sex before marriage, or no alcohol or drugs, because I’ve done plenty of all three in my lifetime. But how about a modicum of decency. A little self-control. Or at the very least, safe sex education that isn’t biblical or shame-based, but factual. The figures on reality t.v. aren’t exactly the role models we want our kids to aspire to, are they?
Kimi
21 Feb 2012Its true about when parents talk to their kids thing. My mother was open with me about it. I was the first in our town to lose the v card and I was sinful after that. Well a few years later their daughters were knocked up in high school and no daddy to be found. I on the other hand enjoyed my safe sex and then went off to meet my future husband and they were shocked that I married waited and then got pregnant and it was planned. So while they thought id be 16 pregnant and a loser because my mother taught be safe sex rather than don’t have sex I came out better than a big chunck of the girls from my town. I have a daughter and son and although my husband was a virgin when I married him we boy share the feelings of being open about it rather than them catching something or getting pregnant.
Tashiana
21 Feb 2012Top two fave movies that my daughter and I love to watch together, and make a great segue for talking about teen sex and pregnancy : “Riding in cars with boys” and “Juno”.