By: Amy Shakewell
Being the wonderful single parent that I am, I thought big and safe was the way to go with the first car for my 16 year old son. WRONG!! I didn’t hear “sweet ride” or “nice wheels.” No! What I heard, to my horror, was “nice shaggin wagon dude.” Could I have been any more naive?
So, I shoved condoms in the glove box and armrest of the 1994 Cadillac, (aka “Shaggin’ Wagon”), then proceeded to pray that he’d take me seriously and use the condoms if the need should arise.
According to the Center of Disease control (CDC), 409,840 infants were born in 2009 to teens between the ages of 15-19 years. Also, we can not forget about HIV. Half of all HIV infections in the U.S. occur under the age of 25 along with three million cases of other STD’s. I want more for my son than to be an adolescent dad or spend his life fighting AIDS. No one wants their child to be another statistic!
My concerns hit the roof after finding a blown up condom hanging from the hood ornament of the “Shaggin Wagon.” When I questioned him, “Why in the hell is that thing hanging off the hood of the car?” His reply was, “What? (haha). Just protecting my front end!” Just protecting your front end??? “WHAT?” It could just be the Bailey’s in my coffee talking, but I’m thinking that most of you mothers can relate with me on this one. THAT’S NOT FUNNY!! Nothing like a proverbial gut punch!!
So now, I have the most serious look on my face. You know that look mom gives you when you better “listen up” or get slapped. I say to him, “ I’m not joking here Mister! That thing in your pants is a loaded gun!! It can take a life or make a wife. We don’t play with guns unless we know how to use them and it’s ALWAYS SAFETY FIRST. GOT IT!!” Was he taking me seriously? My hopes were that a frank discussion like that might help him make life saving decisions.
How do you give them the tools of protection without coming off as to say it’s o.k. as long as you use condoms?
How do you find a safe dependable auto for them to drive without it becoming the “Shaggin Wagon”?
How do you get your teen to truly understand the importance of “protecting their front end?”
**Photo taken by Amy shakewell, July 2010.
Resource: http://www.cdc.gov/std/general/Condom_Use_Among_Adolescents.htm
Is Your Teen Protecting His Front End?,
tsudo pop
14 Feb 2011As a son, I’ve got to say that I would have probably had the same reaction as your son. Any advice my parents give me, I don’t know what it is, but I just can’t take it seriously. I think it’s because they watch the news, see everything wrong in the world, and then transpose that worry and anxiety onto me that eventually I just brush them off. It’s not that I particularly want a child or a STD, and thankfully I can say that I made it through my teenage years without acquiring either, but there’s something about the stereotypical parental warnings that make what parents say seem overly bothersome.
Dostoyevsky made the argument in Notes from the Underground that people, generally within adolescence, must assert their independence in the form of rebellion in order to realize their identity. Perhaps parents forget this, but that whole ‘it’s just a phase’ perennial adage is not just a quote that people repeat over and over. It has some truth, generally. Kids develop. I mean, look at the whole Baby Boomer Generation and the irresponsibility that they demonstrated within the ’60’s and ’70’s. Parents went through the exact same thing. Yeah, now we have fancy medical terminology to proscribe all of today’s youth, but are they so different from how they were thirty or forty years ago…maybe even further back?
I guess it’s a matter of perspective, and I’ll probably be singing a different tune down the road if I ever have a kid. But I understand your protective instincts as a parent, just don’t let it turn into paranoia.