By: Andrea Elizabeth

What do you do when your CHILD is clearly having a sexual moment in front of you? For most parents in the USA, their first and final decision is to scold and punish the child. Well, psychologists claim this is completely wrong way to respond. As a parent (or caregiver), it is your responsibility to keep your child as innocent as possible for as long as possible. Right?

Psychologists say the best responses to your child’s masturbation is to either not respond, or to question your child about the behavior in a calm relaxed manner AS SOON AS you witness it (given they are fully awake and able to converse with you and their feelings). If you are the type of parent who is appalled at this “nasty, unnatural” behavior or embarrassed because your child touches themselves in public, simply speak to them CALMLY while stating that what they are doing is not appropriate in front of everyone.

During this parent-child conversation, try to find out where the behavior was learned. Ask open ended questions rather than yes-no questions. Allow the child to fill in the blanks instead of just answer you. If you cannot come up with an answer about the behavior, ask the child to draw a picture. e.g. a girl and a boy, 2 boys, and 2 girls. Then ask what they are doing in the photo. Young children usually draw gender/sexuality by giving a female long hair and a dress. Males are usually portrayed with a dog or ball and pants. If your child displays sex organs, breasts (with or without nipples), vagina, and/or penis in any drawing, it may be time for a serious inquiry about the masturbation behavior and the environments the child is exposed to.

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At any point sexual child abuse is suspected by an adult authority
(Teacher, babysitter, caregiver, doctor, nurse, guidance counselor,
etc) it is that individual’s legal responsibility to report the suspicion with tangible (body marks, drawings, voice recordings, writings, etc) and intangible (casual conversation, witnessing sexual behaviors, etc) proof to child services authorities immediately.

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