Shared By: Wipe Out Homophobia

 

So – Brace yourself and enjoy!

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Baby Makers

Hater #1:

“Eat shit and die you straight hating f*gg*t. People who f*ck each other in the ass make me sick.”

Wipe Out homophobia’s reply:

Dear Denzil,

Thank you so much for your beautifully composed message. It arrived just as I was eating lunch, which as you probably know, for us gays, consists of vol au vaunts filled with pink marsh mallows and sprinkled liberally with glitter. A far more tasty treat than your suggestion.
I’m sorry to hear that anal sex makes you feel nauseous, I can only assume that you’re doing it wrong. I have attached a ‘safe guide to anal sex’ for you to flick through at your leisure.

May I also take this opportunity to point out that I do NOT dislike “straight” people, some of my best friends are in fact “straight”, others have never actually confessed to being “straight” but I have my suspicions. I even found out at a very young age that my parents were also “straight” and upon further investigation I have found that several of my gay friends also have “straight” parents, I am beginning to think that this is no coincidence!
I wonder if my, or your, governments know about this? Do you think they will have worked out this conspiracy of “straight” parents churning out gay babies? I think you may have stumbled upon the discovery of the 21st century, this is our Watergate!

I’ll get back to you as soon as I can arrange a press conference, it’ll be a bit later though as being gay I have some skipping to do first. Oh and Denzil, tell nobody, the baby makers are EVERYWHERE!!!!!!!!

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Less beans

Hater #2:

“you’re kind makes me sick. don’t you think there is enough crazy people in the world without spreading it to more people. the world would be better without gays and lessbeans and trannies and other disabilities. you need to delete your page before people see it and get annoid.”

Reply:

Dear Darren,

Thank you for your lovely message, how nice of you to notice that I am Kind, I do try.

As for the subjects you wanted advice on – I’ll do my best but believe me, I’m no oracle.

Yes I do believe that there are more than enough crazy people in the world, it always amazes me that people who wouldn’t have been allowed crayons 10 years ago now have access to the internet. BTW what is your favorite colour crayon? Mine is blue, they taste best.
I doubt that the world would be better without gays; to be honest they would be a miss to the caring and service professions and don’t even get me started on hair dressing.

Less beans would make the world a far worse place in my opinion, I love baked beans on toast and chili just isn’t a chili without kidney beans – so I’ll have to disagree with you there too.

I love my tranny, I listen to the BBC Radio 4 during the day for plays and comedies and discussions while I’m working, so I’d miss that a lot. Being gay isn’t really a disability, unless you’re a stud horse or a homophobic bigot, in which case I find that most homophobic bigots hide their latent homosexuality (That means gayness) and attack people who are openly gay so that they feel less insecure about themselves, but I don’t need to explain that any further to you, do I?

Thank you for the excellent advice, my page, which has 400,000+ members, with MILLIONS  of post views and website hits per month, will be deleted immediately; because we wouldn’t want word to get out would we?

Bye for now poppet, take care,

love Wipe Out Homophobia xxx

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Welsh Faggots

Hater #3:

“God hates faggots and fags.”

Reply:

Is that something you’d like me to include as a discussion topic?

I can see how God would dislike fags, here in the UK my friend Joe smokes 20 fags a day, the rug beside his sofa has dozens of tiny burn holes on it, I can only imagine what that would do to an angel’s wings, I guess they’re highly flammable and smoking would cause a health and safety issue. Plus you have to remember his house = his rules!!!!!

As for Faggots, well I love them, I was in Wales recently and bought them freshly made from the local market, they were the best meat balls I have ever tasted.

There was a strange incident though at check in, in the hotel, when the receptionist asked me if I’d like anything on room service and I replied “Could you send some faggots up please?”
According to the receptionist (Telling me later) the American couple behind me looked quite shocked (I think they may have already eaten) and even more so when I added, “Just a couple though, I’m cutting down.”

I don’t think God is a vegetarian or anything, I’ve heard he’s partial to fatted calf. Anyhow, I’ll pop your suggestion into the discussion section and see how it goes, thanks ever so much for your support.

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Sherlock

Hater #4:

“If you don’t remove Wipe Out homophobia from Facebook I will make it my life’s crusade to track you down and kill you. I have investigated you and I know who your mother is, she will be first on my list. You have 1 hour.”

Reply:

Well done on your investigative work, please remember to bring a shovel with you as my mother has been dead for 23 years.

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Tattoo

Hater #5:

“Gays and freaks are stupid why don’t you all go to hell.”

Reply:

Thanks for your support, BTW did you know that the tattoo on your arm in your second pic should read “Angel” and not “Angle” ? – I’m always happy to help the brighter folks. xxx

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Gag

Hater #6:

“You shud be ashamed of yourselfs wot yous fags get up to is discustin and the thort of it makes me phizicly sick”

Reply:

Oh no, I’m terribly sorry to hear about your gag-reflex problems; it must be terrible for you darling! Anyway thanks for the chat but I’ve got to get ready for my weekend now. I’m hoping to spend most of it rimming. If you are not sure exactly what that means use Google, then enjoy your dinner sweetheart. xxx

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Rottie Totty

Hater #7:

“You dirty gay f*ck.. you and you’re kind will rot in hell.. I teach my kids write from wrong and if any of them was a fag I would beat it out of them…You’re parents must be so angry at you.. Homos rape kids and animals,, It’s f*cked up..”

Reply:

Thank you for your lovely message. As I have two Rottweilers, I think if I tried to interfere with them I would most definitely come off worst. I’m sure that your children are lovely, but being Gay I like MEN, a fact that my father is quite happy about, in fact he is a member of Wipe Out Homophobia, as are my three brothers, my sister and a dozen or so nieces and nephews; well they would be, they’ve had an education.

I’m sure you will stand out in a crowd though, you’ll be the one with the kids who are hanging their head in shame, well done. Have a lovely day and give my love to the pretty black Labrador or yours, he’s quite the looker. xxx

 

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Dinner

Hater #8:

“FUCK YOU F*GG*T”

Reply:

Not until you have at least bought me dinner, see you soon poppet. Xxxx

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Weekend

Hater #9:

“F*CK GAYS”

Reply:

I’d never thought of doing that, thanks for the tip, what would you say was the best position?

Hater #9:

“NO I MEAN F*CK ALL GAYS”

Reply:

I doubt I’d have the time but I’ll make a start this weekend and report back to you on Monday – Thanks again poppet xxx

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No Smoking

Hater #10:

“Fags are shit”

Reply:

I agree, I gave up smoking them eight years ago and feel much healthier now; PLUS I now have more money to spend on KY and glitter – RESULT.

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Sex With a Banana

Hater #11:

“Dear Kel, if that is in fact your real name. I recently came across your group  and was quite disgusted to see that so many people are against normal sexual practices.

Do you think that encouraging people to ” come out” as perverts is right?
The Bible clearly states that homosexuality is wrong, so what gives you the right to give people false hope in the thinking that everything will be fine if they are deviants?
You have to face the Lord at some point and be judged. Change now before it is too late.”

Peace and Love from Hater#11

Reply:

Dear Hater #11,

As you can see by my name, my name is in fact Kevin, but my friends call me Kel, so you can call me Kevin.

No, I do not think that encouraging people to be themselves and not what others force them to be, is a good thing, I think it’s a great thing.

“The Bible contains six admonishments to homosexuals and 362 admonishments to heterosexuals. That doesn’t mean God doesn’t love heterosexuals, it’s just that they need more supervision.” ~Lynn Lavner

When the “Judgment day” comes I will be only too happy to tell how I spread love and had hate removed, how I brought people together and how a community was born from a simple idea that all of “The Lord’s” humanity  should be equal.

In closing, can I point out the “deviant” and “pervert” should never be used by someone who has an open profile as I can clearly see that you belong to the groups “I want to have sex with a banana” and “Fisting”; not that I have anything against either of those practices, but it’s hardly the missionary position is it?

Do take care, and yes, peace and love to you too.
~Kel

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Duty Free

Hater #12:

This weekend I am driving to Duham NC with 3 friends. I have looked up your address and we are going to teach you a lesson. Getting our pages banned just because we want to stop f*gg*ts teaching our kids was a big mistake. See you on Saturday.

Reply:

Thank you so much for thinking of me whilst planning your trip, however I think that your lack of education probably cause by not wanting to be taught by people whose sexual orientation is none of your business, has made you look rather silly.

You see Marcus, I do live in Durham, but I live in Durham, England and not Durham, North Carolina., Which would mean that if you drove here you’d get very wet indeed.

I would suggest (apart from maybe studying geography and possibly reading my profile properly) that you type my address, which you claim to have looked up, into Google Earth and that will give you a better chance of actually getting here.

When you do arrive in England (I won’t hold my breath) and find your way to the North east, find my village and get past my two Rottweilers; I’ll be waiting with the kettle on.

PS please could you get me a few duty frees, vodka and any CK aftershave will do fine.

Take care poppet and have a lovely weekend.
Love Kel x

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Answer phone

Hater #13:

“I hate Wipe Out Homophobia and I hate YOU, gay is stupid.”

Reply:

I’m sorry I’m unable to answer your message at this time, please leave a message and I’ll get back to you ASAP.

Hater #13:

“OK. Thanks, I hate Wipe Out Homophobia and I hate you.”

Reply:

Beeeeeeeeeeeeep!

*** When he answered, I laughed so hard that my two dogs hid under the bed!!

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So Gay

And finally…

Paul Smith:

“I hate Wipe Out Homophobia it’s so gay.”

Reply:

I hate homophobia – it’s ridiculous, small minded and ignorant, or as I like to say – It’s so Paul Smith.

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We Support Wipe Out Homophobia, Visit their website here —> Wipeout Homophobia.  – TJ

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