By: Ingrid Munsil

This will be a two part review. One part that reviews the movie for those of you who are interested, and the second part for those of you who are wondering why a movie review about Gnomeo and Juliet, a children’s movie for the most part, is on a website that covers the taboo.

Like the ’96 remake of the classic Shakespearean tale, Romeo + Juliet, with Leonardo DiCaprio and Claire Danes, I expected to be subtly surprised by Gnomeo and Juliet’s modern, puerile rendition of the romantic tragedy. From the title to the end credits (and everything in between), though, the film, as both my girlfriend and I agreed upon, tried too hard. I guess that was the point, but I had expected something more from the movie—like an interesting statement, rather than the ode to tackiness that it surely was.

From voice appearances from James McAvoy to Jason Statham, and even Ozzy Osborne (quite possibly one of the biggest disappoints of the movie), Gnomeo and Juliet weaves a tale of two ceramic-driven lovers caught in the animosity of their two respective yards—the ultimate battle of Red v. Blue. This is something that I could live with, though, since it was a new, refreshing spin on the nearly half-century old play. But the writers took it too far with their family-friendly Technicolor Disney-celebration of tolerance and inseparable love, not even killing off the lovers at the end but rather having an animated dance scene instead. And, to even further their insult to Shakespeare, the movie depicts a meta-theatrical moment when Gnomeo talks to a statue of Shakespeare himself. Even the kids sitting in front of me were disappointed with the ending.

Now, here’s the part for all you Jivers who are wondering what’s so taboo, even controversial, about this film. I mean, it’s G-rated and meant for kids, right? Yeah, but there’s usually always something taboo about a film. And in Gnomeo and Juliet’s case it is plagiarism: the hush, hush movie tactic of Hollywood today.

While I wasn’t expecting some grand, lofty rendition of Romeo and Juliet, I surely did not expect an indulgence of contemporary clichés in the film industry’s interpretation of classics. It was the ‘most famous story of lovers’ turned into a disposable and forgettable animation crammed full of uninspiring dialogue and bright colors for the kiddies. The film completely misrepresented and belied Shakespeare’s story—though, and here’s the funny part, Shakespeare himself stole much of his story plots from Greek and Roman playwrights, like Menander and Plutarch. What Shakespeare did that was possibly so revolutionary, and the reason why he’s celebrated as one of the greatest (if not the greatest) writers of Western literature and drama, despite commentary from George Bernard Shaw, is the depth and psychology that he gave to his characters. This is what truly endeared him to each generation allowing his legacy to survive almost half a millennium after his death. And what is the first thing that Gnomeo and Juliet does: butchers such a legacy, and destroys, possibly (only time will tell), this up-in-coming generation’s view of Shakespeare.

Of course by merely imitating another classical text for the sake of flattery is not really a crime. James Joyce did it in his rendition of the classical epic poem, Ulysses. But we cannot indulge in the comparison of Joyce’s work to that of the Disney Animation team. What they achieved is entirely different. Joyce actually did a beautiful rendition full of imagination and originality despite it being based off another’s work; while Disney went down the almighty-dollar-commercial avenue and got rid of the substance that made Romeo and Juliet ‘the most famous story of lovers.’ It wasn’t imaginative, funny, or original. It was just tawdry and overdone.

I truly believe that what Gnomeo and Juliet did was a crime. And not just an imaginary crime against nature, but a very tangibly conceivable crime that could/should lead to fines, arrests, or even jail time. I’m not even that big of a Romeo and Juliet fan, or even Shakespeare, for that matter; but I can recognize what he did for the stage and literature, and how he influenced a great many writers thereafter. And it is because of this that I believe that Gnomeo and Juliet should not be passed over as just another bad, children’s movie that you have to take your five-year-old to see because he won’t shut up about the movie unless you put a pillow over his face (and that’s considered illegal and morally wrong). The movie subtly reminds us that Hollywood and the film industry in general has truly given up with trying. They’re grasping at straws.

So go and rent, buy, or whatever, Wizard of Oz, Toy Story, or Taxi Driver for your kids instead of spending money on over-priced tickets to see Disney butcher Shakespeare.