Anyone that has been in a long term relationship knows that there comes a time when you’re not in the mood for sex and of course the other half is. How far would you go to get out of it?? We all know that the ‘ole “ I have a headache” trick doesn’t always work. Maybe you’re mad at the other half and don’t want them touching you for days, then what would you do?

I have one of those friends that has a bit of a sick and twisted humor, more so than mine! She thinks and does things that I would NEVER even think of, and I consider myself pretty loony. I love her mostly because of her sarcasm and the fact that she makes me feel pretty normal and trust me I’m not normal by no means. She shared a story with me about what she did to get out of having sex. It had me laughing till I cried and I nearly wet my pants. My version of her story probably will not do it justice but none the less I hope you enjoy.

While in a little sundress kicked back on the couch eating some food, my friend decides she’s getting out of sex! She leans back with feet on couch and legs slightly parted and strategically places the cottage cheese from her plate. She then nudges the sleeping boyfriend on the other end of couch with her foot.”hey check me out” she says to the sleepy boyfriend. He rubs his eyes and tries to wake up and says “what?”. She tells him again,”hey check me out down there, I don’t feel right! see if something is wrong.” He looks over and can’t quit make out what he’s looking at. He then leans in to examine further between her legs, blinks a few times and suddenly jumps up and yells “what the hell, that shit ain’t right!!” . She is laughing at his disgust of what he just saw. He is yelling “what the hell is wrong?” As she is laughing so hard now that she is unable to catch her breath, he notices the paper plate on the coffee table with some cottage cheese still on it and figures out that it was a set-up. Now he’s very pissed off at the trick, “sick bitch!” he yells and leaves the room in disgust. Needless to say she got out of sex for a few weeks and eventually out of the relationship.

I’ve used the headache trick, I started my period , I feel constipated, just too tired, pretending to be asleep, or my boobs are sore and I don’t want them jiggling around but never ever had I ever thought of COTTAGE CHEESE!!! So if you have to resort to small curd cottage cheese to get out of sex, then you’re probably not with the right person. Just sayin!!

Feel free to share what you’ve done to get out of sex when you were not in the mood… we’d love to hear them.