What if you were set-up for a blind date and found out in the middle of your evening out that your date is on the “sex offenders registry?” Would you finish the date or ditch them as soon as possible?  This just happened to me. Don’t get me wrong, I run checks on the men I plan on going out with but this guy – nothing popped up when I checked him out on OTIS (Offenders Tracking Information System.)

A friend of mine tells me that her new boyfriend has a friend that would be perfect for me. Great, we all would rather date someone that somebody knows something about, right? Her new boyfriend and I had a friend in common, so I’m thinking this set-up on a blind date would be wonderful. All four of us get together at a bar to meet up and go from there. The would-be date and I make small talk , exchange phone numbers and make plans for a date the next night. I tell another girlfriend of mine, in conversation, that I have a date and it looks hopeful. He has a JOB, a Drivers License, a Harley, and all his front teeth – what more could a girl ask for? Of course my girlfriend asked his name, just in case she might know him. His name rang a bell, but she could not recall what bell it was. So, I ran his name on OTIS, but nothing came up. So off on the date I go. He takes me to a “Steak House” for dinner. We order and then my phone rings, it’s the friend I just talked to about an hour ago. Not trying to be rude, but I felt if she was calling so soon something must be up. The restaurant is busy and being the thick girl I am, I can’t hardly get out of the booth. So I say excuse me, it must be important and answer sitting right there. She says, “Sorry, but I felt I had to tell you, is he right there?” I reply, “Yeah.” She then asks if he can hear her. I answer, “Umm, it’s really busy in here tonight, it’s hard to hear anything.” “Good,” she replies and then proceeds to tell me that she ran his name and it came up on the Sex Offenders Registry, 4th degree.

Rattles off his name, age, address. I am still sitting across from him and now brain racing…all I can say is, “Ohhh, bummer, well hope it works out alright. Thanks and I’ll check in with you later.” I look over at my date, with my brain going a hundred miles an hour, trying to think of something good, think, think! I suddenly feel like I’m in a James Bond movie…and I’m now on a mission! Ok, really more like an Austin Powers flick. I say, “Sorry, one of those friends who is going through a lot of drama and needs someone to talk too”.. He offers to let me leave if I need to. I feel slightly panicked for a second on what I should do. I did not get a molester vibe from him, but I have kids. Think quick, think, think ,think, and then it hits me ….I have steak coming mmmmhmm…how I love steak and I haven’t been on a date in a long time. So I say to myself, “I can do this, I’m just going to play cool.”

I’m a crazy, thick, mace-packing white chic, I can do this!  Now feeling rather awkward and unsure, I go with it. In the back of my mind I’m thinking, ‘do I call him on it and have to find a ride home or do I see how honest he is and if he brings it up?’ I decide the latter of the two. He pays for dinner and I pay for the movie. By no means do I want to feel obligated to this guy. I was of course very stiff and rather uncomfortable. The night goes well, I try to ask leading questions to get him to possibly bring this “sex offender” issue up. “We’ve all made mistakes before, but the important part is learning from them.” No bite! All and all the night went well. I felt disappointed that he had not brought this issue of being on the registry up. I liked him, but tried to put myself in his shoes as to how hard it would be to bring this subject up. Timing is everything.

He called the next day and I debated whether I should answer it or not. I did and he wanted to talk and tell me something in person. We met at a public spot and talked for 2 hours. He shared his story of injustice. Nonetheless, he did not show up on the OTIS because what he was being charged with was a misdemeanor. So the Judge went with questionable and ordered him to register for 15 years, which is a whole other topic to discuss.

I was glad I had listened to that little voice that reminded me of Oprah saying her goal was to ‘always to be compassionate and not judgemental’, which is not always an easy task. I believe the bottom line is that we are ALL human and deserve to be heard. Listening is the most important part, not only listening to another person but also listening to that little voice that dwells deep inside each one of us, its usually dead on!!