By Jack Cameron
I began to do some research for a report that would shed some light, education and awareness on what it really means to be Bisexual. Many heterosexual people and even some homosexual people are unclear and misunderstood on what it truly means to be Bisexual. Sometime later it occurred to me that I might just ask a group of bi people directly if they would enlighten me with their articulations. So, I contacted the Bisexuality Exists – It is Real Facebook page with the following question for their fans…
“In your own words, what are a few things you want people to know about, understand or be more aware of when it comes to Bisexuality?”
The collection of replies from the Fans were astounding and as deep and real as it gets; resulting, shamelessly, in a far greater report than I could have ever put together. In honor of everyone who took the time to reply, we listed everyone’s comment. Congrats on being published and many thanks for your participation!! Yes, it’s a bit lengthy but please take some time to read through these genuine and uniquely authentic comments from people to get a better and more clear idea of what it means to be Bisexual; and then please, add a comment below or share this article with someone you think might benefit from this gem of a resource and collaboration.
Enjoy, In your own words…
“Bi-sexuality is love itself. We don’t love some, we love all.” — Jacy Rose Muse-Meyers
“I think people should know I can have monogamous relationships and that the way I feel is not because I want attention or because I want guys to notice me. That’s just reality tv bisexuality, not true bisexuality.” — Rachel Lefler
“That being bi-sexual means loving the person – not caring about the gender! When we commit to someone we are committed to that person, without reservations.” — Sue Dye
“Being bi-sexual makes people think you are greedy or confused. In all actuality it is neither. There is nothing wrong with liking both sexes. No has to be “labled” or fit into any “catagory”. As long as you respect the people you are dealing with,then there should be no problems. Be true to yourself and everything will work out ok.” — Yanni Jefferson
“Bisexuality doesn’t mean you’re not sure about what kind of partner you want, or that you’re confused about your own sexuality, but just that you happen to like both sexes, and that’s all.” — Sam Woodburn
“I fall in love with what is in between a person’s ears, not what is between their legs.” — Vivala
” Bi-sexuality is not confusion it is not a “cover up” it is real people can love both genders and be attracted to both genders. It is a love that is unique in itself and just because your friend is bi-sexual doesn’t mean they are going to try to “get at you” or that they are going to try to get your significant other. Bi-sexuals aren’t hoes they aren’t nasty or an abomination they are people just like everyone else and they have feelings opinions and ideas as well. They aren’t all about sex, they are the opposite of most misconceptions in todays society.” — Katie Allen-Tookes
“It’s not a phase or an experiment. It is just the ability to love a person, rather than a gender.” — Maria Krogstrup Hareskov
“Bisexuality isn’t about loving a man or woman – its about loving a person regardless of their gender.” =) — Gem Swithenbank
“The way I see it love is love no matter who it’s with. It’s about the person they are — not what is between their legs. You can’t help who you fall in love with.” — Anna Burns
“Some simple things: Just because I have the potential to be attracted to anyone doesn’t mean I am attracted to everyone. My bisexuality is not a way to sexually arouse men. If I’m kissing a girl at a club it’s not because I want a creepy guy to rub up against us. My sexuality doesn’t define me.” — Caitlin Brede Blanchard
“Bisexuality is no more about hoarding lovers than monogamous heterosexuality or homosexuality. Stop confusing the idea of polygamy with the idea that someone can fall in love with either gender.” — Jillius Caesar
“I was getting to wordy, the best I can think of to say is that, it is not an issue of commitment or commiting to one or the other, it has always been for me an ability to love people regardless of their private parts.” — Zequiel Christopher Droz
“Bisexuality isn’t a fad, it isn’t confusion and it isn’t a stage. It’s a way a being able to love for who a person is inside, not on the plumbing alone. We are all humans, looking for that connection in another, and to discriminate your love on sex alone is ridiculous.” — Jennifer McKenzie
“I am bi. I think it’s about the evolution of the Soul to love a person beyond the physical state of being” — Mike
“I’m bisexual, but I’ve only ever liked one girl. We are still together and this is my most serious relationship. My mom confuses being bi with confusion. I’m not confused, I like a girl but I still look at guys too. Being bi doesn’t make us confused it means we like options. That’s how i see it.” (: — Crystal Smalls Cortez
“There’s no magic switch that can be flipped. U can’t just pick a side.” — Latoya Younge
“Personally I’m scared of Men…I can’t be around them in a Sexual sense with out getting scared and grossed out. But I’m married to my husband when I fell in love with him it wasn’t his gender I noticed first it was WHO He was. I guess I want people to know that being Bi-Sexual doesn’t always Mean you Love Both Genders sometimes it can mean you love one Gender but still have that one person Does that make Sense?” — Victoria Kellee Jaeger
“For me it is about being loved and having love. I don’t want a boyfriend and a girlfriend at the same time, I want a partner for life. I have loved both and can’t say one is better than the other, it is simply love that I long for. I have grown up my entire life wanting to find unconditional love, since I want someone to love me for me…why shouldn’t I love them for them…no matter what sex they are. It isn’t what you see on TV or hear people talk about…it is a simple word that drives me…LOVE for all man kind.” — Peggy Pattavina
“Relationships are not (for me) about gender, they are about personality. I believe in monogamy, I am not promiscuous. I am not indecisive or greedy. I am not about to steal anyones man/woman and I completely can keep my relationships seperate from my friendships. Just because I have relationships with men does not mean I am still trying to keep some heterosexual privilege or that I am less of a part of the lgbt community.” — Susan Higson
“Bisexuality is simple, gender is simply not important, who you fall in love with depends purely on their nature, not their physical attributes.” — Terry Weirdartist Oh
“Like Katie Allen -Tookes says, it’s not “confusion.” And that sexuality doesn’t have to be and either-or, pick-one-or-the-other prospect. Being bi to me just feels right. Just like being gay/lesbian or straight feel right to some other people. I used to try to be one or the other and what I found was misery. That I was trying to be what other people kept saying I should be. But that just is not natural to me.” — Deb Williams
“For one thing, being bi does NOT make someone a sicko – I came out properly when I was 15 and I was at school, and I got a lot of digs for it – I got called “dyke” and things like that. Well I never, ever did anyone any harm, because I respect people and never, ever do anything to them that they don’t like. As for the teachers, they did not want to talk about it or hear about it at all. I told my foster mum I was bi and because I was a teenager she liked to think it was just a phase I was going through and that therefore I should keep my mouth shut until I’m older. I also consider myself to be a “gender bender” and although my biological parents are not bigots, they still liked to think I was confused and that I was the same as other girls deep down.” — Caroline ‘Linny’ Morris
“Bisexuality to me is when you stop thinking and start feeling. Black and white does not become grey as some might think. We don’t date everyone, we just allow ourselves to look at everyone equally instead of denying one gender and keep our focus on the other. Bisexuality is just like heterosexuality just with fewer restrictions.” — Natasja Asdal
“I am bisexual and married to a man. I have three children with him as well. The question that people ask me most often is “If you are bisexual and married to a man, is there ever a time you want a woman?” or “Do you ever feel like you’re not complete sometimes because you’re married to a man and want a woman sometimes?” My husband even asked me these questions when I came out to him.
How I feel is, I found the love of my life. It’s just when I was looking for that person, I didn’t just look in one gender. I looked in both. (I had dated women in the past as well as men.) When you’re bisexual and you get married, it’s just like when you’re straight and get married. You stop dating other people. Sure you can look at someone and say “wow they’re cute/hot/sexy.” but that doesn’t mean you’re going to go sleep with them. You commit yourself to that one person that you love. And the same if you’re gay and get married. You can still find other people attractive, but you’re not going to act on it, because you love and are committed to the person you’re with. Yes you will find people that do go out and cheat… but you’ll find that in ALL sexual orientations. But for the most part, once someone has made that commitment, then you’re set for life because you found that person that completes you and makes you happy. The ONLY difference for a bisexual is that they look through both genders instead of just one.Another question I get all the time is “since you’re bi, do you like threesomes?” the answer? No I don’t. To me sex is something beautiful that takes place between two people that love each other very much. I would not want to “share” my special time with my husband with anyone else. Now there may be bisexuals that are into threesomes, (just like there are gay and straight people that are into them) but it’s not for every one. And personally, it’s not for me.The short and long of being bisexual is the same thing as being straight or being gay. We’re just looking for someone to love and to love us in return. We are ALL just looking for love. Bisexuals just have a wider range of where we look.” — Meg Berg
“Since I was a small child, I have wanted to be with someone who loved me. It has NEVER mattered if that person was male or female. I see beauty in a person’s spirit. I love them for who they are inside not what they are outside. I live my life as a lesbian because no one has ever loved me the way my girlfriend does – and that is all that matters.” — Chisa Irene Pinion
“Being Bi-Sexual means that I’m just doing what comes natural. I’m not ‘confused’, ‘greedy’, ‘going through a phase’ or ‘questioning’. I’m liking people based on their individual merits. Isn’t that what real love and real attraction is about?! Liking the person you’re with regardless of their sex and/or gender?! It’s real for me, it’s real for others and we’re comfortable with that.” — Sciea LcEmpress Estephane
“Being bi is who WE are… We didn’t choose this it’s how we were made. We’re not confused! We don’t “want our cake and eat it too”. We happen to be attracted to men and women. It’s not a decision made to have “a chance at more dates” (as someone actually said to me!!!). It’s not a disease. I’m not going to hit on ur man or ur chick. We have the same feelings as everyone else. In fact in some cases it’s actually HARDER being bi then gay or a lesbian. I know a few gay guys and lesbians who FLAT OUT REFUSE to date a bi person. So as you see it’s not easy but I’m secure in my sexuality and know that in time I will find my true love….. Male or female. There out there.” — Misty Houser
“Bisexuality is not someone being indecisive with which gender they want. It’s not (for me) a feeble attempt at appearing at least slightly ‘normal’ and still having an interest in the ‘correct’ gender.I want people to know that just because I’m bisexual DOES NOT mean that I will cheat on you in a relationship. That just because I’m bisexual it does not mean I’m a sex fiend who only uses it as an excuse to pick up as many people as I want. That being bisexual isn’t something people should fear if they have a bisexual partner. It hurts when someone thinks you’re unfaithful just because your bi. Being attracted to both sexes does not make me any less of a person, it does not mean I ‘don’t care’ about who I sleep with. It means that I’m capable of loving someone for who they are, despite whatever happens to have been given to them between their legs. It does NOT mean I’m going to cheat on you any more often or with any more people than your straight partner would (but hopefully they wouldn’t cheat on you in the first place, because I know I wouldn’t).To be bisexual is to know what it’s like to be shunned by both straights and gays. To be prejudiced against by a society that doesn’t think you actually exist. That thinks you’re simple ‘going through a phase.’I want people to simply know I’m here. I’m real. And I do exist. I’m still a person. I still love, but I love the person for who they are, not their genitalia.” — Nikki Clark
“Being bisexual is the epitome of seeing people for who they are as an individual. You look past their sex and can love them for who they really are. Both women and men are beautiful creatures and not limiting yourself to what type of person you can love expands your capacity for sharing your love with others.” — J-me Michel
“The thing i would like people to know is that someone is bisexual all the time unless they change it because they’ve realized they prefer a certain gender. and when you go out with someone of the same sex then you are still bisexual and not gay/lesbian.” — Connor Chapman
“As a teenager having just graduated from high school, i often had to deal with the common misconception that, as a bi-sexual female, i’m a cheater or a swinger when it comes to relationships, that i play men and women because i “don’t really know what i want”. this is a lie. it’s not that i “don’t know what i want”. i know exactly what i want. i want to love someone and be loved, to cherish and be cherished. just because i don’t distinguish the gender of the person i want to be with doesn’t mean i love them any less. it means i love them more. because i love them for every detail of their personality, i love them through their faults, through their differences. if there was one thing i would want someone to understand about me, it is that I love you for what’s inside, not outside. literally. — Ariel Thorn
“Being bi doesn’t mean cheater just because i find both genders attractive doesn’t mean i will have a bf and gf at the same time and it certainly doesn’t mean i only want sex, that’s just how we were born the same way you were straight or gay” — Charles Britania
“A poem I wrote best describes it for me: why is what i enjoy about pleasure considered an “alternative” lifestyle?alternative is defined as necessitating a choice between mutually exclusive possibilities.it is not what i choose, it is who i am. i do not desire to be boxed in by one possibility or another. i choose to be free to just BE without the constraints of a language so ill defined – “alternative – NOT!i am not my hair, my body or these clothes that i wear. i am not vanilla nor chocolate. i am not of light or dark. i am not a slave, yet i am not free, i am a tantric switch, but that doesn’t define me.i choose not to be defined, limited or boxed in. i chose simply to be me.” — Sensory Hedonist
“Just because I’m bisexual doesn’t mean I’m going to cheat on my girlfriend with a guy. Nor does me being bi automatically mean that I’m going to jump the first person that shows an interest in me. There are things that turn me on and things that repulse me. The only difference between me and my straight friends is that I am open to loving anyone regardless of what sex they are.” — Roger Jordan
“Bisexuality? The ultimate in loving a person for who they are, I don’t even discriminate based on gender. I’m attracted to a wider range of people. I don’t need to sleep with a whole bunch of people to be happy. I don’t need to have both to be happy. I just love who I love, in whatever way I choose to love them. — Shannon Sloan
“I want people to know that being bisexual isn’t as easy as saying “I’m gona like both genders” I’d like people to know I can’t choose just to be straight, or just be gay, I AM bisexual for a reason, I like both girls and guys, I can’t change that fact even if I wanted to! — Trent Guerrero
“For one – it isn’t a choice. And it isn’t a trainplatform between GayTown and StraightCity, either.It isn’t indesiveness. We are confronted with a LOT of biphobia from both straight and gay people.” — Michelle Seyner
“I would like people to understand that being this way isn’t just about sex or being “really good friends” with someone. For me, it’s about a very intimate and deep connection to another person, no matter the gender, in a way I don’t connect with everyone in my life. To me, it isn’t about loving just one person, but however many I do. Right now, it’s two. I have a husband (legal) and a wife (not legal in Colorado). I married my wife years before I even met my husband. With them, the personal and loving connection is there and equal in every way. I love them, find them sexually attractive and want to be with them the same as the other. I believe the term for people with more than one relationship polyamorous (or some could argue that I am a cheating harlot. Which ever you think, my wife and my husband are fine with each other being in my life the way the other is and they actually like each other, so ha!) I don’t chose to love anyone. I just do. I don’t have room in my life for hate because I have two people who love me and I love them back so very much.” — Megabeast McDicksonery
“As a bisexual woman who takes part in online dating, I’ve encountered a lot of ignorance. When my orientation is set to “bi”, I get many requests to take part in threesomes with other couples. It’s almost like who I am and what I’m looking for doesn’t matter. I’m simply a sexual toy for another couple looking to spice up their sex life. If I could say one thing to the world it would be this: just because I’m bisexual does not mean I have any interest in a threesome. I am a normal woman with a romantic spirit who wants nothing more than a committed, loving relationship. I am not your sex toy, your accessory, or your experiment. — Liz Bridgeman
“I want people to understand that we didn’t make a conscious effort to be bi, we just are bi. We aren’t confused or greedy or easy. It’s not about 24/7 sex either. That’s the biggest misconception from my perspective, we’re just sluts who aren’t particular about who we’re with. I’d like it if people in the LGBT community were a bit more accepting of bis.” — Amber Lutes
“Bisexuality is an umbrella term for everything that isn’t homosexual, heterosexual, or asexual. It doesn’t refer to people who are only attracted to cisgendered males, and cisgendered female.” — Alice McBatman
“I am bisexual. There IS a difference between being bi and being a lesbian. JUST because I am currently dating a female does NOT mean I am a lesbian. Same goes for when I date a male. I am not Straight. I am Bi End of story. There is no flipping sides. I know what I am. Just as you do.” — Eryn Michelle Potter
“Bisexuals aren’t so called, “confused”. We aren’t “stuck in the middle” or “experimenting” either. I’ve heard a lot of those terms used towards, not just bisexuals, but queer people in general. We are none of those, however. We are just people who have an attraction towards both genders and there’s nothing we can do to change that. Like it’s been said so many times before, it is not a choice. Someone doesn’t choose to be bisexual (or any other orientation), it’s just who they are.” — Sydney -Yendys Nakamura
“We are not gay or lesbians to scared to fully come out the closet we see gender as a miner thing and instead look at the person in whole.” — Michaela Harding
“I don’t think of bi-sexuality as anything other than a word created to explain the ability to love more than one person based on them being of more than one gender. I Have a husband, and a wife, and we are all very happy. isn’t that what matters, being happy…?” — Jassz Storms
“I’m bi sexual and the best way for me to explain it it that your attracted to both sex’s like how a straight guy is attracted to girl which is completely normal. How ever it doesn’t change who you fall in love with. The best way to describe love is when you care infinitely for someone and there all you think about there what you want. But just like normal people we can lust as well and just like normal people we can be private about our personal lives and we have rights. I always describe it as half gay x_x. But bisexuals are just normal people who like both genders” :). Xxx — Mariam Vanity
“I don’t identify as bisexual however, I feel that one of the main reasons why people are on the “DL” is due to the rejection that this identity is faced with. Many people are not “allowed ” room to be attracted to both openly.One minute someone says, “Why don’t people just be themselves? ” But in the same breath that same person will say, “If you sleep with the same sex then you’re gay and I wouldn’t date a ‘gay’s person. ” Society would rather praise someone for being discrete or ashamed. When someone is being honest, sure and comfortable with themselves, they’re frowned upon. Live and let live. I love dating bi women due to the fact that it shows me that she is able to love unconditionally regardless of genitalia. I appreciate that quality, definitely her honesty. I’m secure in my manhood to trust that she won’t cheat on me with a woman or a man. Cheating is cheating.” — Suave MrDebonair Blahnik
“The main thing people don’t get about bi-sexuality is the fact that it’s NOT gay and straight combined. Everyone assumes it is. When it actually is its OWN sexuality.
“I get this question a lot “Do you prefer male or female?” the answer is simply: I like them both equally, this explaining why I’m bi instead of gay or straight.” — Chris Saxon
“I see a person for who they are, not what they are. If I find you beautiful, I may love you….I will not love you and refuse you due to gender. Something I get alot, is that bisexual people are more promiscuous than others, but that’s not true…a loyal person is loyal …a cheater, cheats. A person’s preference on gender has nothing to do with it. I am comfortable and open about my sexuality, no person can spit enough hate in my direction for me to back down from something I believe in. I am proud of the person I am. Get used to it.” — Anna Cummings
“I have a boyfriend whom I love very much, and I intend upon spending the rest of my life with him. However, this does not make me any less homosexual. Even after marriage and, eventually, children I will still find women sexually attractive. Also, I have feelings for women more than men, but I’m not a lesbian. I enjoy sex with both genders equally. I’ve never had more than one partner at a time and I don’t drink or do drug, i.e., I’m not a slut or “barsexual”. — Roxi Lemieux
“Being bisexual means that you are interested in both men and women. What’s not to understand? Bisexuality IS real, because I’m bisexual, and it’s rather obvious that I’m real.” — Chris Bangs
If You Get Bullied Or Picked On You Just Have To Stand Up For Yourself And Protect Who You Really Are. No One Should Have To Change That. I Think No Matter Who You Are, You Are A Person.. All Made In The Same Way, Everyones Different, So Why Pick On Someone Whos Lez, Gay Or Bi. It’s Silly, In Fact It’s Not Wanted. I Say Stick Up For The True You, Because No One Knows Your Story So Why Should People Have To Judge.
I Don’t Think You Should Hide Your Sexuality Because Well You Shouldn’t Have To, Be Proud Of Who You Are, And Make Sure Your Family And Friends Are Too. Peeace♥ “— Dylan Cookie Jeean
“I want people to understand that I personally do not think that bisexuals are half gay! I am bisexual and I am very offended when people call me half gay. I don’t know about everyone else but it pisses me off! I am not half gay, confused, or greedy. I am attracted to guys and girls but I didn’t chose to be bisexual. I didn’t chose to lose who I thought was my best friend over this. I was born this way and have had the privilege to date a girl and a guy and I wouldn’t ever be able to choose between them so I AM PROUD TO BE BISEXUAL!” — Amanda Christine Mahoney
“Being bisexual doesn’t make you different. & It especially doesn’t mean you like every person you see.
Being a girl and being bisexual, tends to make other girls stray away from you, because they’re afraid you’ll “Like” them. When in reality, we have the same standards as any other human being.” — Myah Markquart
“Well just reading the comments on this thread already have made me feel so much better about the way I feel! I find it so hard being Bi feeling that you don’t fit into a set I am neither straight nor gay! I lived 14yrs with a women who I loved dearly I have two wonderful kids I have always struggled to know who I am my it wasn’t until my wife left that I truly started to explore who I was and after living all my life as a straight man I decided to try the gay scene I was so happy to be finally excepted by such loving people even though I still really didn’t totally fit in. Even my gay friends didn’t fully understand how I could not see the sex of a person and just fall for the person this was equally as hard for me to deal with. But I am happy now and in love with a most amazing guy and in a civil partnership! He still struggles with the fact that I am bi not gay but it doesn’t matter as we love each other and will till the end of time!! Just knowing there are others going through the same thing and knowing I’m not odd or a freak makes me feel so much better! I hope you all find the one like I have. ” X — Simon Symonds-Burke
“Bisexuality doesn’t mean confused. I should be able to be attracted to someone not because of their age, race, or gender. But because of their hearts. And when the day comes, my family and friends will be able to accept that in me and in others as much as I do.” — Farrah Johnson
“I think part of the reason many people have this idea you’re either gay or straight is because they live in a world where monogamy is the reigning paradigm. In a monogamous world you’re only “with” one person at a time, so you must be either gay or straight, and maybe you change between the two. This is just plain wrong, and it’s a shame so many bisexual people feel they must choose. If you want to be monogamous, fine, be monogamous. But that won’t stop you from being attracted to people of both sexes and you shouldn’t deny that part of yourself simply because you’re in a monogamous relationship.” — Marc Archambault
“I’m not a half-and-half. I’m not half-attracted to women, and half-to men. It’s more about the person, there’s something about Them that gives you those butterflies, not their gender. We’re not more likely to be attracted to every single woman we see, than every man. We’re just not like that.” — Emma Crawford
“My “type” of bi-sexuality is one I’ve only ever heard of once before. I have been in an opposite sex marriage that lasted about 13 years and been in two same sex relationships both lasting approx. two years. I fell in love with the women after knowing them for a long time and got to know their hearts and minds. That is what I fell in love with. Not their sex. One of them was bi already and the other, I was her first same sex love. Tolerance and love for all types of people is most important to a world steeped in hate and violence. Thanx for lettin’ me share.” — Melanie Patterson
“For me, and perhaps a lot of you will disagree with me, but this is how I feel about it: bi-sexuality is just another term , it doesn’t describe who I am, it doesn’t even describe who I love. Although, if I’m completely honest, it is a term that comes pretty close to a well understandable definition of this one (very important) part of me. Probably pannsexuality is a term that fits me better, hence my reluctance in actually naming myself bi, but that’s a term I don’t even want to try to explain to people… I personally think it doesn’t really matter what you call yourself, or even what others call you, but we happen to live in world where it’s very important to label basically anything and anyone. Until I find a better label, you can call me Merel, and for those curious about my sexuality, when I explain it without using terms, most end up calling me bi-sexual. Good for them 🙂 But that’s just my two cents.” — Merel Ivens
“I wish people knew that it’s just not a big deal. I don’t sit around all day thinking about being bisexual. It’s a FACT, not a “lifestyle.” I’ve never had a girlfriend OR a boyfriend, but I was thinking about dating one girl and a close friend said something like “Are you sure you’re okay with potentially being a lesbian?” I kept saying that dating a man wouldn’t make me straight, and dating a woman wouldn’t make me lesbian, but I’m not sure she got it. When I talked about coming out to my family, she said “It’s a big step from being a supporter to actually living the lifestyle.” Being bisexual is a FACT, just a FACT, and one of many facts about me!” — Hannah Givens
“I think it is a fair assessment to assume that the bisexual community feels that the homosexual and heterosexual people need to educate themselves on bisexuality. Being bisexual is not about being with a man or a woman this week, it is about finding someone based on their mind and soul. Bisexuals have learned to see a person for who they are and not discriminate based upon something as trivial as gender. Accepting both genders does not make someone selfish; in fact, I think it makes them more lovable. There is a difference between bisexuality and homosexuality just as there is with heterosexuality. Being bisexual is not a choice based on convenience, it is biology. There are not more opportunities for bisexuals in the realm of love based on homophobia, fear and bi-phobia. Bisexuals are not whores, sluts or bar-flies; in fact, I am sure there are many who are involved in a committed relationship.** I Vote that all single bisexuals unite and just date one another. Screw dating the other sexualities!” — Nicole Dawn
“Just because I’m bi doesn’t mean I can’t stay in a relationship and be faithful. And because I’m Bi it doesn’t mean that I need to be with both genders. Stop asking me how my boyfriend feels cause it doesn’t matter. He is just happen then with twice the choice I still choose him.” — Lacey Rose White
“Bisexual means a lot of different things to a lot of different people. I think that is great! I like different it makes the world a more interesting place. For myself, I have tried dating a guy and a girl in the past. Too much drama for me. I think the reason was the stereotype that bi’s can’t be happy unless they have both along with how young I was. I found out really quick that the opposite was true for me. One person is plenty! Although I do like some eye candy now and then, but doesn’t everybody?After figuring out that I only wanted one person, the next difficulty was trying to find that person. I had a lesbian tell me that most lesbians hate bisexuals. And straight guys think you’re hot until they think about you as a serious relationship, then you are “not fit to bring home to Mom” or you’ll leave them for another woman. People who have been the least judgmental (in general): straight women and gay men. Also, my brother and my grandma.Eventually I found my fiance. We’ve been together for almost 9 years. I came out to him from the start. He’s never had any worry. I asked him if he was worried about me cheating on him with a woman. He says because if your going to cheat you are just as likely to cheat with a woman as you are with a man. He also says there is no point in worrying over unfounded jealousy. He knows that I am not going to change, I’ll always be attracted to all genders.Last year I finally got the courage to come out to my mom. Now talk about some ridiculous fears! She had some questions, which I answered honestly. Her biggest one, “How does that affect you and your fiance?” I told her, “It doesn’t.” =) — Angel McCreary
“I just ask people “does a straight woman fall in love with a man’s penis or the man themselves?” I love the person not whats between their legs.” — Rose Murray
“Bi-sexuality is just as real as every other orientation. It is not a phase. It can be one. But not always. I don’t have to “go to one side” and I will never “go to one side.” I am not greedy. I am not a whore. Just because I’m with a girl, at the time, doesn’t make me gay and just because I’m with a guy, at the time, doesn’t make me straight. And just because I’m with one sex/gender doesn’t mean I’ll cheat with the opposite or even the same sex/gender as my partner! I’m bi-sexual. But that doesn’t mean that I like both males and females because they’re “hot” and that’s that. I like males and females because I can connect with both of them. I think they are all beautiful people and I’m attracted to them physically just as much as I am mentally. I feel a connection on both aspects with males AND females.
When I get married, let’s say it’s to a girl. Will I suddenly be gay? No. Absolutely not. I will always find men attractive and will always be able to connect to them. But I will always be faithful. For all you straight or gay people, do you check-out other people outside of your relationship? Of course you do! Everyone does! Does that mean you’re unfaithful? Of course not! You can find someone attractive physically and/or mentally that is not your partner and still be faithful to your partner and still love your partner more than that other person regardless of sex/gender. A lot of people don’t realize this.
“I can recognize when someone is attractive without wanting to go up to them and kiss them. It is possible. Bi-sexuality is real. It’s just a bit confusing to those who aren’t informed. I can understand that. I just would prefer it if people didn’t jump to conclusions about what they don’t know.” — Trisha Love
“Being bisexual doesn’t mean that the individual is confused about who they like or are attracted to. Being bisexual is not a phase, in my own experiance I have known I was bi since I was in the 4th grade. At first I was ashamed because I thought people were going to judge me, as sometimes people do; but what society doesn’t understand is that love has no gender. When I love a guy or a girl its because I’m in love with their heart. I strongly believe I was born to be bi-sexual and I am so proud of it :). We as bi-sexuals want to be jus as accepted as heterosexuals because all in all it’s the heart and spirit of a person that truly matters.” 🙂 — Mercy Gomez
“Bisexuality is not a passing phase. It doesn’t go away when you’re in a committed relationship. I’ve been married for 18 1/2 years, and while I have been and will remain faithful to my husband, I am still bisexual. It’s about who I am, not who I sleep with.” — Amy
“Attracted to men the way women are attracted to men, attracted to women the way men are attracted to women. Want one at a time, character over gender.” — Trina McMuffin
“I am pan sexual, commonly and understandably mistaken for bi, but I am sexually attracted to the individual, not their gender or “equipment”. — Adam Flanagan
“I am bisexual. I’ve known this about myself since I was 14. It’s not a phase. I’m not confused. I don’t sleep with every human being that crosses my path. I am married to a man. Yep, you read that right – to a man. Why? Because he’s the human being I fell in love with! I’ve been with females. I’m still attracted to women. I stay committed to my husband. When asked about my orientation, I reply with this: I have been blessed with the ability to look into the heart of a person, to transcend gender, and fall in love with their SOUL. If my answer is unacceptable, then so be it. Small brain in a flat skull….life will be very painful for you.” 😉 — Amanda Carannante
“Somehow, somewhere, bisexuals got this reputation for being promiscuous. Frankly, I don’t think we are any more or less than straights of gays. I think it’s the perception that if we’re attracted to both sexes, then we must be sleeping with more people (however irrational that may be). I’d like people to stop thinking that I’m a slut just because of my sexual preference. I’d like men to stop giving me that “OooOooo, can I join look?” when they find out I’m bi. Being bisexual doesn’t mean I have orgies. Period.” — Jami Bevers
“I’m bisexual. We often get labeled as, like many have said, “confused”, “promiscuous”, “top scared to be fully gay”, etc. this is not the case. For met, being bisexual means that I will love who I love. Regardless of gender. I will be loyal to that person, no matter what. I do not identify as gay or straight, or both. I am me. And, I am bisexual.” — MelissaMayhem Barna
“Just because im bisexual doesnt mean im attracted to everyone and it doesnt mean im thinkin about boys and/or girls all the time. just cuz i find some people cute or sexy doesnt really mean im into them, but they’re within my aesthetic standards. in fact, im extremely selective about people. My desires towards men and women tend to fluctuate at times. Keep in mind that one’s sexuality doesnt define one’s character or vice versa!” – Luke Hopkins Cesar
“I am NOT confused; I like boys AND girls, and that’s that. I fancy each for different reasons, and I like specific things about girls, and specific things about boys. There is no confusion of “Am I straight? or am I just a confused lesbian in transition?” No. I am Bisexual, and that is who I am.” — Racheal Glasco
“I think people should know that it exists, period. And that being bisexual doesnt mean you are a whore, or a slut, or indecisive. They need to know that we love like anyone else, and that we are all like them. People just need to realize that who you love doesn’t change who you are.” — Autumn Strickler
“I want people to understand the Bi-Sexuality isn’t a phase where you’re trying to decide which gender you like more. It’s more of an acceptance of both genders.” — Breanne Degner
“To me, bisexuality is simply not having gender as a criteria when attracted to someone, or when choosing a partner. Some people do not have a racial preference. Some people do not have a height perference. Some people do not have a gender preference.” — Kimberly Hall
“Just because I like both genders doesn’t mean that I like EVERYONE. Bisexuals have preferences just like anyone else. I am NOT confused.” — Emma Maguire
“When/if I get married, I’m not going to ‘choose’ whether to be straight or lesbian for the rest of my life. When/if I get married, it’ll be because I’ve fallen in love with someone. This will not change my awws of adoration to both male and female leads in movies, it will just change my wish to act on those awws.” — Nicole Hayes
“Being bisexual can be very hard and lonely…so often you will be pushed to be straight or gay…it’s like your harder to lable and without that social lable people are not as accepting/trusting of you.” — Tania Dossey
“Out of any sexual orientation, bisexuality is one of the hardest to be. In my seventeen short years, I’ve been absolutely enamored with both women and men. Today is ten months with my first true love, Nick. He is absolutely wonderful to me. He’s everything I could ever want. That being said, on a regular basis I get the question, “Well, does that mean you’re gay now?” A simple question that has no simple answer.
“I am in love with another man. There is no doubt about it. But that does not stop me from noticing other people – people of any gender. For example; Nick and I talk about boys together, whereas my straight male friends and I talk about girls together. Both happen. It’s a fact of life.
“However, I believe that bisexuality is a fluid thing. Never have I been 50/50. Never have I been able to put it into such definitive and finite terms. There has always been more of an attraction to one or the other. When I find myself falling for a woman, my attractions tend to stay on the lower end of the Kinsey Scale. The opposite is true as well. At this current point in time, I see myself as a 4 out of 6. More “gay” than “straight,” but neither one nor the other entirely.
“The truth of the matter is, it matters not to me how you view me. What matters to me is the person that I love – no matter their gender. I don’t accept limits. I will love whomever my heart desires. I am, truly, bisexual.” — Ben Shively
“Being bisexual for all of my life I still don’t get why people ask me which do you like more guys or girls? My response is always the same you can’t compare apples and oranges!! I love both genders equally and for different reasons that are my own. Just because I’m attracted to both doesn’t mean I like or will date anyone who happens to be standing near. I’m extremely picky about who I date. I don’t see gender just like most people see race. I’m attracted to someone for their personality, not what they have between their legs!!! I am NOT confused about who I am, I am a capable, confident woman who is attracted to BOTH genders. And as far as being “to scared to fully come out”, do they not realize bisexuals come out of the closet too? I guess they don’t, but if the would put their immature thoughts on hold for a minute and listen they would realize it takes just as much courage to sit our families down and tell them that we are bi as it does for someone who is “gay”. I love a persons heart not their gender!” — Jc Riley
“Where do I begin…the thing that bugs me personally the most is that when people find out I’m bisexual its either I’m lying, I’m really gay, Im slutty, blah blah blah. For me, announcing that I’m bisexual was as much an acknowledgement than anything. I made it known that I know who I am and have to put up with an enormous amount of stereotypes and bullshit because of it. The other thing is watching both gay and straight people make a mockery out of my sexuality. Like who I am is some sort of style. Its offensive. One last thing is treating it like some sort of club. Like you have to black or you have to white, asian, a woman. Ethnicity, gender or your age have nothing to do with your sexual orientation. Duh! I am not dumb. I am not a whore. I am not confused. I am enlightened. They’re just gonna have to deal with us. Hope that was helpful.” — Don Stewart
“I want people to know that being bisexual doesn’t mean you cant settle down or that you will be unfaithful. i want them to know its not just about sex. i want them to know it isnt a choice but rather how you are born. i want them to know that it isnt a disease. and i want them to know that we are just as normal as they are, we live, laugh, cry and bleed just as straight people do.” — Jamie Rae Eckenrode
“The one thing I would like people to know (mainly based on boyfriends I have encountered >.<) is that a bisexual girlfriend does NOT automatically equal a three-some. I am an affectionate partner and I am loyal. Why would I ruin a good relationship by cheating?” — Eileen Emily Sanchez-Maxitana
“I think people ought to know that the word ‘bisexual’ covers a wide variety of things. I have bisexual friends who are primarily attracted to one gender over the other, but still consider themselves to be bisexual. I think that adolescents should be made aware of bisexuality as an issue (when I was younger I knew nothing about sexual orientation until a PSHE lesson in which we were told that there were two kinds of people, straight and gay. Needless to say I was very confused by seeming to be both). I think that people ought to know that bisexuality and sexual greediness are not the same thing – bisexuals have standards too!” — Lily Taylor
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Katti
21 Mar 2012As a bisexual lady-thing, I find that it is what it is, plain and simple. I like both. I’m equally sexually attracted to both sets of genetalia. No, that doesn’t mean I’m going to bone everything I see; I have standards and preferences just like everyone else. If I see someone attractive and I’m single, I’ll flirt just like any other straight dude looking for a girl at a bar, or if it’s cool with my current interest. So long as it’s mutual, it’s all good. I respect other people’s boundaries. I can only be involved with one person at a time, and that’s where I’m comfortable.
Thomaidha
21 Mar 2012Oh my I loved this article idd. I’m hetero however I dont understand why other hetero have probl comprehending bisexuality. The article felt like grown-ups talking to children. Loved it!
Gavin
21 Mar 2012I also want to say the for me it’s not a male, female thing. It’s a personality thing. If i like you and your personality and you’re a guy awesome and if you’re a girl, awesome too!
Erin
21 Mar 2012A person who is attracted to both sexes but will only date one person at a time. I know a bisexual who is monagamous and she is really great!
Liam
21 Mar 2012”Great Fun!”.
Connor
21 Mar 2012I have so much support for this but many of those responses seem pansexual~ I’m not one or the other so I just see it nod. It’s all good, just thought I’d put this comment out there ♥ Love is love ♥
Terri
21 Mar 2012I do not judge, here is my question about bisexuality- i looks like a gay person trying to pass off as being ‘normal’ and more acceptable than being gay.
Christy
21 Mar 2012Not at all Terri being bisexual I can tell you I’m ot gay in the least…. I am physically attracted to both sexes equally…. I love my husband with every fiber f my being…. But I find myself drawn also to women…. In my experience, I’ve found that like a lt f the people in the article said, I just love twice as much….
Tara
21 Mar 2012I didn’t read all of the responses, but it’s clear if you want to know what being bisexual means to someone, you have to ask THEM. My feelings never showed up in the few that I read.
Jo
21 Mar 2012it’s liking a wide variety of people both man and female. It doesn’t always mean that a person will have a boyfriend and a girlfriend at the same time. For me it’s one person at a time or it’s cheating, to others it’s different.
Alyssa
21 Mar 2012This was a lovely article. There was even one that was more or less similar to my own situation, which I don’t hear of too often. It was great to see, even if I wouldn’t actually call myself bisexual.
Makayla
21 Mar 2012The most important thing I wish people would understand is: Just because I am openly bisexual does NOT mean I’m attracted to every girl or every guy. I’m not “checking out” girls while they are changing in the locker room. Are straight people attracted to EVERY member of the opposite sex? No, of course not. I’m human, just like you.
Kathy
21 Mar 2012I have never thought of myself as bisexual. I have thought of myself as lesbian, and that bothers me too because I so HATE LABELS. If the truth be known, I am about as unconventional in feelings, thoughts and actions as any one human I have ever met. I’ve been with men and I’ve been with women. I believe sexuality is fluid. It flows not because of exactly what is between someones legs, (although I admit I have a preference there, and it is female,), but because of the very nature of souls connecting with souls. If you stripped away everyones exterior we all look the same, but the soul is the one thing that is unchanging and different from person to person. Thats powerful to me, and that is what attracts me to a person. The outer is wonderful and glorious and I admit chemistry means alot, but I met someone 7 months ago, that taught me by the very nature of her femininity that it is not just what is on the outside, because I was a die hard “butch/tomboy/softbutch lover my entire life. What captured me was her soul, her heart and a vibrational level that matched my own. So do I know exactly what it means to be Bisexual? The answer to that is no, because I still do not consider myself a bisexual, even though society would dictate something very different for me. But I do know what it is like to be in love. And isnt that what really matters anyway?
Miley
21 Mar 2012I loved it.. I can relate to almost all of it.. it drives me crazy when people tell me I’m just confused or greedy.. but I never ever thought id get grief from gay an lesbians.. but I do.. I thought they would understand, since they get a lot of abuse from homophobes an people that don’t understand aswell..
But as I’ve said before it needs to stop.. even if right now its only the lesbian an gay people that cut it out as it feels like we are currently the punching bag for everyone to abuse an take their anger out on.. “/
Angel
21 Mar 2012It was a priveledge to be a part of this.
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Eliza
16 Apr 2012This is an awesome piece — educational and written with such integrity. Thank you!
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