Shutting the Barn Door on Hate

Shutting the Barn Door on Hate

Exhibit One: A video that shows a very young boy singing in church, “Ain’t no homo gonna make it to heaven,” to which the congregation responds with whoops and hollers and a standing ovation.

Exhibit Two: A young boy stands with a couple of adults (perhaps his parents), holding a sign that says, “God hates fags.”

Exhibit Three: A photo of a child (I think a girl) holding two signs, so big they cover all but her little head: In her right hand, “God hates fags,” and in her left hand, “Thank God for Sept. 11.”

Exhibit Four: Fourteen-year-old Sarah Crank testifies to the Maryland legislature, “Today is my 14th birthday and it would be the best birthday present ever if you would vote NO on gay marriage. I really feel bad for the kids who have two parents of the same gender.”

Exhibit Five: Rutgers freshman Tyler Clementi jumps to his death from the George Washington Bridge, just days after his roommate, Dharun Ravi, has broadcast a webcam video showing him in an intimate encounter with another man.

Exhibit Six: An unrepentant, unapologetic Dharun Ravi is sentenced to thirty days in prison, after being found guilty of invasion of privacy, bias intimidation, and evidence tampering, among other counts.

Exhibit Seven: Tony Perkins, president of the Family Research Council, writes, “President Obama’s cynical endorsement of same-sex ‘marriage,’ along with his failure to do his constitutional duty to enforce and defend federal law in relation to marriage, combined with the plans of some in Congress seeking to overturn DOMA – is a grave threat not only to the well-being of the family, but to the religious liberty of countless Americans who do not wish to be forced to embrace a counterfeit version of marriage.”

Exhibit Eight: Rochester, Minnesota’s Jay’Corey Jones (Corey), 17, commits suicide, after suffering relentless bullying because he is gay.

This insidious pattern of hate and tragedy brings to mind the old adage that it’s too late to shut the barn door after the horse has run away. In spite of much greater awareness of, and good programs to combat, the problem of homophobia and bullying, and significant steps toward LGBT and marriage equality, society has yet to meet its responsibility to teach love and tolerance from the get-go, from birth.

Josh Goodman, writing about the Tyler Clementi case, said, “Ravi had his day in court, but we need to put our society on trial, as well . . . . [H]ad Ravi’s behavior occurred in a societal context that was otherwise 100-percent supportive of LGBT people, Clementi committing suicide in response to Ravi’s behavior seems unlikely.” I recommend reading Goodman’s entire piece; he understands that Ravi is a victim of social conditioning, perhaps much like the child in our Exhibit One.

Months ago, I posted these words on the Equality Mantra: “You can be an ex-smoker, an ex-drinker, and an ex-spouse, but there ain’t no such thing as an ex-gay. How about a clinic for treating hate? An ex-bigot. Now that is something we’d really like to see.”

In a positive development, psychologist Robert Spitzer, who originally posited the idea of ex-gay therapy, recently recanted his own theory, but not before countless people had been made to suffer the damaging effects of the hideously wrong-headed “reparative therapy.”

Spitzer might do well to atone for his destructive error by actually founding a clinic that teaches adults not to hate, so that they, in turn, can inculcate their children with values of love, caring, and embracing those who are different from themselves. It’s a doable idea, and no doubt there are many equality activists who would be glad of the chance to participate in these anti-hate workshops.

So yes, there has been progress, and every day we see encouraging evidence of changed hearts and minds. But if we are to keep the proverbial horse in the barn, we must shut the door on hate before it takes root and infects the babies who will be the bullies of the future.

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Rachel Hockett

Rachel Hockett is a writer, editor, theater director and teacher, an equality advocate, and a proud denizen of Ithaca, New York (the equality state). She is artistic director of the Homecoming Players and founder of the Equality Mantra on Facebook.
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