There are miniature bottles of shampoo, lotions and miniature soap. The Bad towels, starched and scratchy, hang the same way everywhere in the country. Desktop note pads and tabletop advertisements of local interests, sights and historical tidbit’s that bore me still. Well-appointed rooms with marble vanities to hold the trinkets required for life on the road. Paper signs “Forget something? Just ask our friendly staff.” They are all the same. From Andover, Minnesota to Zephyr Hills, Florida, and places in between.
How many of these over the years? How many reincarnations of the chain brands? “Newly remodeled.” “New and improved, with anti-oxidants and beta carotene.” And for the love of god, don’t overlook the dreaded “Free Breakfast Buffett.” They are packed with travelers, stuffing themselves with free food. Nothing in this world is free, I remind myself while jostling for a cup of coffee to go.
How many $8.00 Mini-bar drinks would it take to make one forget the life events you have missed while on the road?
*The daughters dance recital. *Son’s football game. *All the little moments. * Birthday’s celebrated later.*Time with family and good friends. Gone and never coming back, sacrificed in the name of commerce.
A countless number of combination heater/air conditioner units — all humming loudly, but never reaching the comfortable setting.
Unspeakable sex acts carried out in rented space. “Do not Disturb” Cardboard signs encourage you to come again soon.
Sleepless nights on strange, hard mattresses, in strange cities. Sunrises shared with no one.
Spring loaded heavy doors slam at random. Ceramic suitcase wheels hum down tile hallways to the elevator.
The ice machine makes strange moaning and hissing noises, as does the couple in room 915.
Checkout time is 10 am. But you “Platinum Members” are special, take your time, leave at 11 am.
All of it, my true thoughts and the restroom, Sanitized for your protection.
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