Dissing the Kids of LGBTs

Dissing the Kids of LGBTs

Hannah-Elizabeth Moch and her moms, Cheryl and Cheryl.

How many times have you heard marriage equality opponents say “Children of same-sex parents are at a disadvantage”? Republican presidential candidate Rick Santorum has pledged to support a federal ban on marriage equality and to annul all same-sex marriages in the country (as if he would even have that authority as president), and he refers to those who favor marriage equality as a radical homosexual fringe. He asserts that his view stands for what is “best for society.”

It would be offensive enough if Santorum were a lone, irrational, homophobic voice on a vast landscape of more reasonably minded candidates who seek the highest office in the land. But no. Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich, Ron Paul, Rick Perry, and Michele Bachmann: All of them have shown no compunction about making political hay with homophobia and bigotry, and balancing their specious claims on the backs of millions of children nationwide of LGBT parents (not to mention LGBT children and adults themselves). And these self-righteous politicians wrap their hatred up in pretty-looking garbs—social good, religious teaching, long-tested and reliable traditions—as easily as they would toss on a jacket to go out into the rain.

This scapegoating for political gain is a popular sport, played without any responsibility to the facts or the reality. A growing body of research has demonstrated that the children of LGBT parents in fact thrive as well as any children who are raised in stable, loving homes.

“Research has shown that in contrast to common beliefs, children of lesbian, gay, or transgender parents:
• Are not more likely to be gay than children with heterosexual parents.
• Are not more likely to be sexually abused.
• Do not show differences in whether they think of themselves as male or female (gender identity).
• Do not show differences in their male and female behaviors (gender role behavior).”*

Presidential candidates are not the only culprits in this blind march to oppress a minority. In spite of 19-year-old Zach Wahls’s eloquent appeal to the Iowa House of Representatives about growing up with two mothers, Joint Resolution 6—which would deny same-sex civil unions in the state—was decisively passed in the Iowa House, after blithe arguments that allowing same-sex marriage to stay on the books will lead to polygamy and incest; this is an egregious assault on decency and the facts.

And then there are the governors (including Bob McDonnell of Virginia) who jump on the homophobic bandwagon, saying, “the best environment for a child to grow up to be fully capable of achieving the American dream and having the best start at life is an intact two-parent family made up of a man and a woman.”

Psychologist Timothy Biblarz at the University of Southern California disagrees: “Significant policy decisions have been swayed by the misconception across party lines that children need both a mother and a father . . . Yet, there is almost no social science research to support this claim. One problem is that proponents of this view routinely ignore research on same-gender parents.”

“The only disadvantage I’ve ever had in having lesbian moms is having to deal with bigots who think my family is worth less than theirs,” says Hannah-Elizabeth Moch, a member of the Equality Mantra on Facebook. “My moms and I have a better relationship than many of my friends have with their straight parents. We have traveled around the world and enjoyed cozy times at home. They have been with me from my first steps to the first day of preschool to my graduation of high school and beyond. They have supported and defended me. They are just as good (I’d even argue better) parents as any heterosexual parents out there!”

And yet, the baseless, damaging claims persist, and contribute to an environment in which these kids are at risk of bullying and discrimination emanating from the very society of which they and their parents are productive members. So here’s an idea. The next time a homophobic person claims that the children of LGBT parents are at a disadvantage, look whoever it is in the eye, and say, “Come to think of it, you’re absolutely right. They have you to contend with.”

*American Academy of Childhood and Adolescent Psychiatry, Facts for Families. “Children with Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Parents.” 92, August 2011. Link.

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Rachel Hockett

Rachel Hockett is a writer, editor, theater director and teacher, an equality advocate, and a proud denizen of Ithaca, New York (the equality state). She is artistic director of the Homecoming Players and founder of the Equality Mantra on Facebook.

This Post Has 23 Comments

  1. Rick Santorum reminds me of Hitler. Scary times.

    1. Could he literally be Hitler? That’s what I think. Hitler in another body.

  2. The hardest thing with being an LGBT parent is dealing with the bigots! My son is happy and healthy! He is also a talented artist & an excellent student. But that’s not to say it doesn’t hurt him when ignorant people make comments about our family.

  3. Children of same-sex parents being “at a disadvantage” is NOT the same-sex parents’ faults for being themselves, it is other people’s faults for raising their kids to be bigots.

  4. Our (lgbt) families are living proof that we are fine, there is so much love. Of course, our eldest child (my wife and I have 3 kids) , when asked to stack the dishwasher or tidy his room, would argue that we suck, Lol but our children adore us and we love them to the moon and back. 🙂

  5. Some people need to take a long walk off a short peer. Religious bigotry is still bigotry. Believe what you want, teach your children those same poorly informed beliefs, but you have no right or authority to use the government to enforce your religious beliefs.

  6. Fantastic article.

  7. well at least we know that the LGBT couples aren’t contributing to the over 50% divorce rate…. shouldn’t that tell people something?

  8. That’s not fair! This is supposed to be America, were “Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of happiness” is what we were promised! if living with someone of the same sex makes you happy, then you should be allowed to do it! What is WRONG with politicians these days! Shame I can’t run for president because if I was able to and if I won, there’d be some changes for certain.

  9. used to be it was kids of single parents, then it was kids from interracial homes…I think politicians and religiouse leaders are trying to find someone to point the blame to!

  10. i faced similar arguments when i married a black man..oh no your children will suffer,they will be abused get nothing in life be on welfare…they wont be excepted to a college.guess what they are just fine no welfare oops got into school oops and are adults..hum..

    1. Same here We aren’t married yet we got engaged. My mother doens’t want a soul to know because he’s black. Family members think he’s going to beat me and our children.

  11. Santorum will not be elected, theres a difference between, him, and coservative, hes honestly psycho, and like someone had said, he does kind of remind me of another Hitler, if this guy fell off a cliff and died, i wouldn’t cry, one less bigot in this world to deal with.

  12. it isn’t really shocking at all. Conservatives have always bet on fear and attempts to make the lowest common denominator complacent by promising them safety in numbers.

  13. My mother-in-law once said she feels sorry for the children of interracial and same sex couples because of all the bullying they go through. She followed up that comment with the question “Why would anybody want to put a child through that?” Meaning that the fault lies with the parents, not the bullies. To which I responded “It’s people like you that do the bullying with comments like that.” How is it that these people are so blind to what they are doing?

  14. Rick Santorum does more harm to his own arguments, his own side at to his religion than detractors ever could. I think he should get as much press time as he wants, give him a mic camera and some rope.

  15. That’s frickin ridiculous! The nerve of people. That’s what is wrong with this country today, people are trying to tell you as a person what’s ‘right’ for society instead of realizing that the people in the LGBT community are already doing what’s right for them. The people in the LGBT community are happy in life, that’s one of our ammendments as Americans, we have the right to the pursuit of happiness. Who is Rick Santorum to say what is right for anyone other than himself?! What an ass!! That’s what’s wrong with this world today, anger and racism is continuously being a priority to people (no matter if it’s racism for the color of your skin or what sexuality you are). It’s amazing to me how we as a country set so many standards and people from other countries think America is so wonderful. But we as a country are only getting worse, it’s a shame really because our fore fathers did not intend for this country to become what it is today. Talk about a total flop! I am proud to have friends and/or loved ones in the LGBT community, I will always support them. We are all equal, there is nothing different from one another except for the way we look but we still bleed the same color. Much ♥ to the LGBT Community 😉

  16. My partner and i are a gay couple and we have never had a problem with our 2 kids and they are both happy as can be people say you need two parents well our boys may have 2 moms but they know they are loved and why does it matter as long as they have 2 parents that love them.

  17. yea… like straight parents are doing a bang up job. the divorce rate is over 50%. and some straights parents are raising their kids to hate anyone who is differnt. i have not seen a close minded kid who is raised by gay parents.

  18. On his good days Sanctimonius is an idiot. Any other time he is as dngerous as Hitler was as he was gathering his brown shirts together. Fortunately, for us, he is a charisma free speaker, and, because of the internet, we know way too much about him as a person.

  19. This just pisses me off. I am a lesbian in a loving commited relationship of 17 years. We have three daughters. ALL of them are honor roll! They are all very well rounded loving individuals that love everyone no matter their race, sex, or preference. All three of them are straight! My oldest married a wonderful young man and they have two wonderful kids. My girls will all tell you they had more advantages living with two moms! My oldest daughter did a paper on this subject in HS! Being in a lesbian family also taught my girls tolerance, and openess, and to not be closed minded, and prejudice.

  20. an intelligent person can only shake their heads. This man, this pompous ass is aiming to put this country back into the time when we bartered with the natives with corn and trinkets and burned witches at the stake. Let our voices be heard this November.

  21. My step-son’s son,Michael, when he was in his Father’s, Mark, and mark’s partner, Robert’s care was a straight student. He was always clean, well mannered and you could tell he was loved. Of course the courts sent him back to his mother and her band of criminal families and the last I heard of Michael he was in prison for grand theft auto! Oh yes, he came to his Father’s funeral in filthy dirty clothes and looked like he had not had a bath in a week. I tried to gain control of him but I was informed that “step-grandparents” had no rights in this case. My own husband chose to do nothing!

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